Cosmic Chronicles

semi-charmed escapades of a professional human

this is the life I chose...

previous episodes

  1. So...What's It Like?
    29 Jun, 2017
    So...What's It Like?
    Okay, so I do it a lot these days, we’re all aware of it by now. No secret that I enjoy it either…no shame in my game. However, I do get asked "what it’s like" on a fairly regular basis by those who consider themselves curious and uninitiated…I guess it’s not for everybody, I can dig it. It’s intense. Colorful. Introspective. If you don’t like you, you might hate it. I’m going to tell you that right there. …but I’m having a long fling with me right now, so here goes: I guess the biggest
  2. Season II Shakeup (or, A Firm Kick)
    17 May, 2017
    Season II Shakeup (or, A Firm Kick)
    I recently came to the realization that I’ve been stagnating lately…”bullshitting,” in less euphemistic terms. -well, it hasn't been a total waste of time. I mean, check out that scarf.- Now, this certainly isn’t some profound self-aware discovery I’ve come down from a mountaintop with—although that would give me a decent excuse for not posting here in over a month—I’m a chronic procrastinator and I’ve known that since I was a much shorter child. Still, the Universe has always had a
  3. Your Life Has Been Disconnected
    03 Apr, 2017
    Your Life Has Been Disconnected
    I recently spent a month or so without a smartphone. It wasn’t something I set out to do, I’m not one of those guys who brags about not having a TV…even though, I guess I don’t…but count me among the majority of the modern world as someone who has long enjoyed the many everyday conveniences offered to us by these miraculous little devices. -a touching poem composed the morning after.- Anyway, I say all that as exposition for the fact that one morning after a beach party in late February, I
  4. UMTJ VIII: Guacamole Galore
    30 Jan, 2017
    UMTJ VIII: Guacamole Galore
    *this excerpt from my upcoming and untitled Mexican travel guide details how guacamole actually changed my life.* I’ve loved guacamole since the very first time I tasted it less than 5 years ago. You see, I didn’t grow up in a Tex-Mex flavored family. We were more of an African-American fusion cuisine household, and so the closest I ever got to the flavors for which I ended up essentially repatriating was fast food foisted upon me by a talking Chihuahua. Even that gateway drug tickled my
  5. The Best Hike of My Life
    11 Jan, 2017
    The Best Hike of My Life
    Here’s kind of an awkward confession from someone who aspires to be an honored fighting champion one distant day: cardio and I are strained acquaintances at best. Not that I don’t find activities such as sports, surfing, and other forms of mutual physical exertion to be worthwhile, beneficial and very enjoyable, it’s just that long runs to nowhere and extended periods pedaling a bicycle fixed to a defined point in space sound as much like punishments from ancient Roman mythology as exercise.
  6. Making of "The Freeman" Part I: A Stroll on the Malecon
    24 Dec, 2016
    Making of "The Freeman" Part I: A Stroll on the Malecon
    *this multi-part series will detail just how a person ends up owning an oil painting of himself, because that’s the type of shit that happens to me on a consistent basis.* -yes, this is the first thing I thought of too.- Yaknow, all I really wanted was a badass painting of Jimi Hendrix. This timeline began to unfold months ago when I was having a lovely seaside constitutional along the boardwalk that connects downtown Vallarta to the Banderas Bay and the Pacific Ocean beyond. The standard
  7. UMTJ VII: “Perdí Mi Tarjeta!”
    24 Dec, 2016
    UMTJ VII: “Perdí Mi Tarjeta!”
    (the next preview slice of my upcoming book shows that this ain’t some vacation...this is my life. shit happens, yeah?) Chapter 4- Vida Real Of course, it wasn’t all margaritas and madrugadas. If you stay pretty much anywhere in the world for over 3 days or so, the…logistical quirks…of the locale will begin to make themselves apparent. As I mentioned, I’m not exactly a seasoned traveler (yet, Bourdain…I am coming for your perfectly coiffed silver crowned head!), but as someone with friends
  8. UMTJ VI: Why Puerto Vallarta?
    24 Dec, 2016
    UMTJ VI: Why Puerto Vallarta?
    (the newest excerpt from my upcoming book examines just how the hell someone scientifically selects somewhere else on the planet to live.) Coast to Coast Considerations ...This isn’t to say that was the moment I decided that Puerto Vallarta, Mexico would be my new home. In fact, Mexico was one of the last places I considered departing to, in part because of widespread misconceptions about Mexican life perpetrated by American media and Taco Bell. However, that was the moment I decided that I
  9. UMTJ V: Take me to Church
    24 Dec, 2016
    UMTJ V: Take me to Church
    (the next shared slice of my life in Mexico...) Finally, there was my absolute favorite part of life in Puerto Vallarta in the early days: its selection of absolutely stunning beaches. The beauty of Puerto Vallarta’s shoreline is ineffable in my view, but since I can’t write this book without trying, I’ll just try not to eff it up. The countless footprints I left in the sand were an opportunity to truly expand my perspectives on life. I often gazed at the mighty rocks that dotted the beach
  10. UMTJ IV: My Cross (Country Flight) to Bear
    24 Dec, 2016
    UMTJ IV: My Cross (Country Flight) to Bear
    (one more slice of a book still fleshing itself out...) You know, I had always heard about how inconvenient and overall lackluster the common air travel experience is, but in my excitement to flee the country I almost forgot that I’d have to deal with it. To be sure, the whole thing started off smoothly enough. I waited until the perfect time to purchase my $238 one-way ticket, got my confirmation code, and operation ODOOVY was underway…or so I thought. It’s not that I wasn’t mentally
  11. Untitled Mexican Travel Journal Excerpt III: Donde esta...todo?
    24 Dec, 2016
    Untitled Mexican Travel Journal Excerpt III: Donde esta...todo?
    (yet another slice of a book still writing itself) I had to look more than a little crazy, fresh off a flight to Mexico in a USA Hockey jersey among the other layers I so painstakingly detailed last chapter. It was a great plan in frosty Philly, continued paying dividends in Denver, and even worked out fine during my two hours in the aggressively air-conditioned Phoenix Sky Harbor. However, I was now in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and the forecast called for an 85 degree temperature,

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