Cosmic Chronicles

semi-charmed escapades of a professional human

this is the life I chose...

previous episodes

  1. American, Eclipsed
    19 Aug, 2017
    American, Eclipsed
    Not much gets me down these days. I enjoy the most freedom I've ever had in life, trading all the required safety for it through my freelance career, transient lifestyle, and high tolerance for shenanigans...but every so often I get a grim reminder of the concrete limitations poured upon this wondrously limitless existence. The one that hit me the hardest in the past few years was--is--having to miss the best parts of the total solar eclipse set to span North America early next week. I'm not
  2. The International Space Station and You
    17 Jul, 2017
    The International Space Station and You
    You know, my fascination with all things celestial isn’t just about trippy pictures of space or idle stonerings about aliens…our nascent exploration of the infinite Universe around us is perhaps the strongest driver of my faith in our species. It’s easy to talk about why humans suck…I do it a lot myself. We’re an imperfect species to be sure, but exploration of the cosmos is one of the few things we are unquestionably doing right. For instance, let’s take the colossal orbiting laboratory
  3. So...What's It Like?
    29 Jun, 2017
    So...What's It Like?
    Okay, so I do it a lot these days, we’re all aware of it by now. No secret that I enjoy it either…no shame in my game. However, I do get asked "what it’s like" on a fairly regular basis by those who consider themselves curious and uninitiated…I guess it’s not for everybody, I can dig it. It’s intense. Colorful. Introspective. If you don’t like you, you might hate it. I’m going to tell you that right there. …but I’m having a long fling with me right now, so here goes: I guess the biggest
  4. Season II Shakeup (or, A Firm Kick)
    17 May, 2017
    Season II Shakeup (or, A Firm Kick)
    I recently came to the realization that I’ve been stagnating lately…”bullshitting,” in less euphemistic terms. -well, it hasn't been a total waste of time. I mean, check out that scarf.- Now, this certainly isn’t some profound self-aware discovery I’ve come down from a mountaintop with—although that would give me a decent excuse for not posting here in over a month—I’m a chronic procrastinator and I’ve known that since I was a much shorter child. Still, the Universe has always had a
  5. Your Life Has Been Disconnected
    03 Apr, 2017
    Your Life Has Been Disconnected
    I recently spent a month or so without a smartphone. It wasn’t something I set out to do, I’m not one of those guys who brags about not having a TV…even though, I guess I don’t…but count me among the majority of the modern world as someone who has long enjoyed the many everyday conveniences offered to us by these miraculous little devices. -a touching poem composed the morning after.- Anyway, I say all that as exposition for the fact that one morning after a beach party in late February, I
  6. Writing and the Wall
    26 Jan, 2017
    Writing and the Wall
    It’s been about a week since the sky fell or whatever. I’ve thought about it for a while, and now I’m going to say pretty much everything I have to contribute on the matter. I once thought racism was pretty much limited to America's Deep South and toothless cousin couples who liked to dress up as pointy ghosts on the weekends. Now, this isn’t to say that everyone who contributed to this result automatically harbors some kind of deep-seated hatred toward any class of persons. Hell, that’s the
  7. UMTJ VI: Why Puerto Vallarta?
    24 Dec, 2016
    UMTJ VI: Why Puerto Vallarta?
    (the newest excerpt from my upcoming book examines just how the hell someone scientifically selects somewhere else on the planet to live.) Coast to Coast Considerations ...This isn’t to say that was the moment I decided that Puerto Vallarta, Mexico would be my new home. In fact, Mexico was one of the last places I considered departing to, in part because of widespread misconceptions about Mexican life perpetrated by American media and Taco Bell. However, that was the moment I decided that I
  8. UMTJ IV: My Cross (Country Flight) to Bear
    24 Dec, 2016
    UMTJ IV: My Cross (Country Flight) to Bear
    (one more slice of a book still fleshing itself out...) You know, I had always heard about how inconvenient and overall lackluster the common air travel experience is, but in my excitement to flee the country I almost forgot that I’d have to deal with it. To be sure, the whole thing started off smoothly enough. I waited until the perfect time to purchase my $238 one-way ticket, got my confirmation code, and operation ODOOVY was underway…or so I thought. It’s not that I wasn’t mentally
  9. Untitled Mexican Travel Journal Excerpt III: Donde esta...todo?
    24 Dec, 2016
    Untitled Mexican Travel Journal Excerpt III: Donde esta...todo?
    (yet another slice of a book still writing itself) I had to look more than a little crazy, fresh off a flight to Mexico in a USA Hockey jersey among the other layers I so painstakingly detailed last chapter. It was a great plan in frosty Philly, continued paying dividends in Denver, and even worked out fine during my two hours in the aggressively air-conditioned Phoenix Sky Harbor. However, I was now in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and the forecast called for an 85 degree temperature,

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